From a letter to Kelsey

I am having a hard time and missing you, but I knew I would reach a tough spot, and decided to show it instead of wait it out because I'll remember it better that way and nothing helps you stop feeling sorry for yourself better than demonstrating to everyone that you're feeling sorry for yourself.

I figure I'd set aside $5000 to blow on this trip even if nothing works out, and at my burn rate that was still over a month, and at the very worst I could come back to my job and save that in less than a year. So I decided to blow through the whole ten grand (the other five reserved for when it works out) and have some memories if nothing else, though I don't really need the memories and I'd probably forget them anyway if I didn't put them in the blog.